ofeventualities | closed to long_live_the

Kaede's head tilted a little, her horns exaggerating the gesture somewhat. For a moment, she considered not answering. Or simply answering "no". This woman carried on like Kaede had been speaking this whole time, even when she hadn't been. Though Jade did answer her when she'd been hanging over the cliff. Could always see if that happened twice, Kaede supposed. But her vectors stayed de-manifested and quiet for now.

"D̷i̸d̷ ̶I̵ ̷s̵t̴u̴t̸t̸e̴r̸?̴" she finally said, voice as echoey as before.

Whatever Jade was expecting, an actual response was not it. She flinches back, almost slipping down over the cliff again before she catches herself this time.

"Oh, shit."

More questions just swim about in her head, as she tries to make sense of this situation. Does this have something to do with the way this particular soul seems so... unique compared to the others Jade has picked up?

After a moment, mortification sinks in. "For how long...?"

How long has she just been having one-sided conversations with this spirit, not realizing that she was actually paying attention?

The ghost snorted as Jade almost toppled right back off the cliff, though there was no breath accompanying it. There were plenty of times she had simply stared off at strange horizons and unfamiliar stars. There were also plenty of things she'd been privy to that probably weren't for mixed company.

"S̵i̵n̶c̵e̷ ̸I̴.̸.̶.̷" the ghost trailed off a moment, gaze flicking away. "W̸o̴k̷e̶ ̸u̸p̷ ̶h̸e̶r̸e̸.̴" It hadn't really been waking up, was it?

How funny. She'd been so desperate to leave, and yet those little echoes of what things had been were what Kaede clung to first.

Shock and horror turns to intrigue at the apparition's answer.

"...Really?"

Well, there's still some horror -- she must have seemed pretty silly, talking to someone all this time and they just chose not to talk back.

Not wanting to test her luck near the cliff, Jade shuffles towards her campfire area. She sits down, getting ready to grab her pipe and bag of peaceweed.

She really needs another smoke after this.

"And... you're real, right? You're not just in my head...?" Jade pauses, realizing how that probably sounds as she simply focuses on preparing her pipe. "Never mind. That's a stupid question."

It's not as bad as it used to be, but sometimes she still struggles being able to tell what's real and what isn't. If this is just another conversation she's hallucinating, that would t surprise her, either.

Kaede glanced at her hand; she could see the fire crackling right through it. She started to answer--but Jade beat her to it. So instead, she just shrugged, drawn a bit closer to the fire herself by the trinket's tether.

"P̷r̷e̵t̵t̸y̶ ̶s̶u̸r̷e̴ ̵I̴'̸m̷ ̶j̶u̸s̵t̵ ̸d̵e̴a̴d̵.̷"

...did she think Kaede had been answering her? There had been times she noticed Jade start or stare at something the ghost couldn't see. But nothing the scarred woman said annoyed her enough to say something about before.

That response is something that Jade would have thought up as well. She snorts, stuffing her pipe with a fresh batch of peaceweed before striking it with a flint. She could use magic to light up, but... she's avoided any kinds of flame magic since the first time she accidentally set her hands on fire, had a panic attack, and passed out.

"Hm. That makes two of us. Probably."

'Probably' isn't the most comfortable thought. Earlier that day, she and this apparition had stumbled upon a traveler calling Jade a monster, screaming that she 'has no flesh'.

Of course, said traveler was sick with the Red Madness, face covered in the blood and gore of the human corpses he was devouring. But it didn't change the fact that Jade heard similar things before that made her doubt her own existence.

Jade seems pensive, staring into space until the realization dawns on her in horror as she thinks about the other apparitions she's ever summoned:

"Fuck. What if the others have just been listening to me talk this entire time...?"

She remembered that. For a long few moments, Kaede assumed that jackal was howling about her. Because of course she was a monster, and a fleshless shade on top of that. She couldn't smell the blood smeared on his face but it still barely fazed her, desensitized and numbed years and years ago. His words cut more.

And yet they'd left him, crumpled on the wayside. It could have been anything, really, that made him collapse like that. The sickness, the blood, a little touch to an artery in his heart...

Kaede was a monster, after all. Just a dead one.

"D̸o̸n̴'̴t̷ ̵k̷n̴o̵w̶.," she said simply, though without the bemused air of before. "D̷o̷ ̵g̸h̸o̶s̴t̷s̵ ̴u̶s̸u̸a̵l̸l̴y̸ ̴r̴e̴m̸e̶m̷b̶e̶r̵ ̸t̸h̴e̴y̷ ̷c̸a̶n̸'̷t̶ ̷t̷a̷l̵k̸ ̸h̵e̶r̵e̸?̸"

It was strange how easy many of her foes go down with this particular spirit around. Jade didn't question it much at first. After all, most kinds of magic didn't require words, and she'd known spells capable of necrotizing someone's organs from within.

But she didn't sense magic from this apparition at all -- not in the same way she sensed it from Denna and even Zar'Ah. And it's not like she can ask either of them for advice, because...

"No," Jade retorts, exhaling rings of purple smoke. "They're usually just... echoes of who they once were, so they're not particularly communicative. There are exceptions, but..."

Judging from her tone, Jade truly wishes this wasn't the case. She'd like nothing more than to give the dead some peace.

"There's a... connection that I feel, between myself and them. But I'm unable to speak with them the same way we are right now."

Kaede didn't say much for awhile, only listening. But something seemed to go out of her shoulders at the end, and she sighed to herself, a useless gesture for something without lungs.

"G̸u̶e̴s̶s̷ ̴I̷'̵m̷ ̷a̶l̶w̴a̷y̸s̷ ̸g̷o̵i̶n̸g̴ ̸t̷o̷ ̵b̵e̶ ̷w̶e̵i̷r̸d̸,̷ ̸h̷u̷h̷.̶"

Despite her no longer having a body and nerve endings to feel with, her horns still seemed to sit heavier on her head, a crown of bones that marked her strangeness.

The momentary quiet isn't unwelcome, as it gives Jade some time to put her thoughts together. Not to mention burn through more of her pipe, the peaceweed calming her nerves on top of reducing her Fever's symptoms.

When she hears the apparition speak again, she's mostly smoking dregs from her pipe. Jade sighs, reaching into her bag and rummaging through its contents.

"Yes, well... that's not necessarily a bad thing." Her mouth pressed into a thin line. "I'd hate to be what constitutes as 'normal' around these parts."

Jade herself is far from normal, devoid of the same piety and prudish behavior many people in this country and her homeland share.

Pulling out a book from her bag, Jade leans back, looking at Kaede from over the campfire. Her attention falls keenly on those horns on her head.

"Whereabouts are you from, anyways? I'm not the most well-traveled, but I've never seen anyone who looks like you before." Is that a rude thing to ask? Because it's something Jade had been wondering ever since she first bound this apparition to her.

The specter made a quiet huff, though she did glance over when Jade's movement caught her peripheral vision.

"K̷a̸m̵a̴k̵u̸r̵a̵.̶ ̶ ̷D̷o̸n̶'̷t̷ ̴t̶h̸i̸n̶k̶ ̴y̴o̶u̷ ̸c̵a̸n̶ ̷g̶e̴t̴ ̶t̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ ̵f̴r̶o̶m̸ ̶h̶e̵r̸e̵.," the ghost said, unperturbed by the question.

At first, Kaede had assumed the strange stars were simply a fact of the afterlife, gleaming bright above purple smoke. But...it was odd. There were more things that seemed alive than dead. Things she couldn't touch, flowers that grew, the endless cycle of day and night continuing like a clock still in motion. The ghost was the only thing that was stopped at the hour. Everything else in the world carried on without her.

"Ka-ma-kur-a." Jade sounds out each syllable as if it would help her better understand, but it's pointless in the end -- she's never heard of such a place before.

Still feeling the effects of her Fever, Jade dumps out the contents of her pipe and replaces the dregs with a new batch of petals.

"And does... everyone have horns in this Kamakura?"

This time she does snort. "N̴o̴t̴ ̷a̴t̵ ̵a̴l̸l̶.̴ ̶ ̷J̷u̴s̴t̵ ̷m̸e̷,̵ ̴a̴n̶d̵.̴.̶.̴a̴ ̷f̷e̶w̴ ̴o̷t̷h̴e̷r̸s̷.̶," the ghost said, pausing at the end enough that the echoes nearly stopped before she continued.

"W̶e̵'̴r̸e̴ ̷d̸i̸c̷l̷o̸n̶i̸u̶s̷.̸ ̸ ̵E̷v̵e̵r̷y̵o̶n̷e̸ ̴e̷l̷s̵e̶ ̶i̴s̴ ̷h̵u̴m̵a̵n̵.̷ ̵ ̸A̶n̵d̸ ̴n̷o̵ ̶o̵n̵e̸ ̵g̵e̷t̴s̷ ̷a̷l̸o̷n̶g̷.̶" The last part was almost a morose mutter than clear words, even more echoey and melancholy than the last. It wasn't entirely true; her other self could coexist with others just fine. Her other self was...happy, without effort. And then there was Kaede, the monster who clawed through the mirror's glass. Who only found fleeting happiness in time to make its absence twist the knife that much more.

The picture painted in Jade's head isn't entirely that of another world. She's still trying to wrap her head around just who and what this mysterious soul she'd stumbled upon really is.

"Tales as old as time," Jade scoffs, purple smoke pluming from her mouth and nostrils. "You'd probably feel right at home here, and in the worst way. Seems like everybody's always at each other's throats."

Considering how often thieves and cutthroats have attempted to ambush Jade, be it on the roads or off the beaten path, it probably goes without saying.

She sighs, taking another drag from her pipe. "Heck. I left my home to escape war, only to bring it here. That's what it feels like, at least."

No matter where she goes, bad shit follows suit.

Edited 2023-09-23 00:48 (UTC)

Though she had no breath to do so, the ghost still seemed to sigh herself; a quiet, tired noise. "T̴h̴a̷t̶'̵s̶ ̴h̵o̴w̵ ̸i̴t̸ ̵a̶l̶w̸a̸y̸s̴ ̵g̵o̷e̵s̵,̵ ̷i̸s̷n̴'̶t̴ ̷i̶t̴.̵"

Kaede glanced away from the trailing smoke, again at the strange horizon that now was the only one she could see.

"A̶ ̷l̶i̵v̴i̴n̷g̶ ̵n̶i̷g̸h̷t̶m̴a̴r̴e̸ ̷y̸o̴u̷'̷l̶l̷ ̴n̵e̸v̷e̵r̸ ̷l̷e̶a̸v̵e̸ ̸b̸e̴h̵i̷n̷d̴.̴" A pause, and the specter snorted a dry and mirthless rattle. "G̶u̷e̸s̷s̴ ̷n̷o̵t̵ ̴s̵o̵ ̵m̸u̸c̶h̵ ̶t̷h̵e̷ ̷l̷i̸v̴i̶n̸g̶ ̸p̴a̵r̶t̴.̶"

"Can't say it isn't always deserved," Jade scoffs. "I certainly shouldn't even be here."

Both literally and metaphorically. She should have been dead at the bottom of the Red Sea, lungs filled with saltwater.

She closes her eyes and smokes, trying not to imagine her own rotting corpse.

"But, well... Maybe there's something I can do about what ails you. Somehow."

Jade isn't one to believe things happen for a reason, but the fact that Kaede is the first communicative ghost has to mean something, right?

"L̴i̴k̷e̵ ̷w̵h̷a̸t̸?̷ ̶ ̵I̴'̸m̶ ̶a̶l̵r̴e̵a̵d̸y̷ ̴d̷e̵a̸d̵.̵" Kaede's thoughts, as usual, were bitter ones. What was the point of fixing something that had already been cast aside? She didn't belong in the world she'd been born in. So she left. Wasn't that enough? What was therapy, anyway?

"M̸o̶r̴e̴ ̸t̷r̷a̴n̶q̷u̸i̴l̴ ̴t̸h̷a̸n̴ ̸I̷ ̶t̷h̷o̸u̴g̷h̸t̷ ̶d̴e̴a̴t̷h̷ ̵w̵o̸u̶l̷d̶ ̷b̴e̸,̷ ̸a̸t̴ ̴l̸e̸a̷s̷t̴.̵" Noticeably fewer flames, somewhat less screaming. Still hostility, but far less than any depiction of hell she'd heard of.

"Tranquil is probably not the word I'd use, but okay..."

True, it's arguably better than being dead. Or is it? When you're frequently attacked by brigands, undead, as well as crazed red-eyed people and rabid animals, a moment of peace is a rare blessing.

Kind of like right now, really. Despite the initial eight-legged scare, she's actually having a nice chat over a campfire. There's gotta be something to say about that, right?

"Don't you wanna... I dunno. Move on or something? Find peace, or whatever it is that dead people do?" At least that's the impression Jade always got.

There's no eternal fires, demons ducking her in boiling water constantly, or screaming that had gone on so long no one cared to listen to it anymore. Just moments of fighting and death and bloody violence like she'd known when alive. No--that she'd numbed herself to.

But this sort of thing she hadn't grown numb to at all.

Kaede didn't answer immediately. Or meet Jade's gaze. But unlike the disengaged air she'd worn before, the ghost seemed to shift on feet that no longer touched solid ground, and tense up her shoulders.

"W̸͎̊h̷̻̄y̴͈̆?̷͕̇" Was all the ghost said, for awhile. The specter's voice was much more distorted than it was just moments ago.

"I̵ ̵d̵o̸n̷'̸t̵ ̷d̷e̸s̴e̵r̸v̵e̶ ̷t̶h̸a̸t̵ ̸p̴e̴a̸c̶e̴.̷"

Eternal damnation is the kind of thing that theists believe in. Jade never bought into that stuff, and even now with her skills in Phasmalism, she still doesn't, if only because she never thought of this as an 'afterlife' for the souls. It's just another state of being -- a piece of remain that's unable to pass on.

"Y'know, I don't think it's about whether someone's deserving of it or not. No one should be stuck in this existence. Something like that... would just drive about anyone insane, I think."

Even if this spirit proved to be helpful in a variety of ways, Jade would never want to keep using her if it kept her in this reality.

Jade shrugs. "And besides... I'm no saint, either."

closed to long_live_the_queen.

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